So...are ALL of the Harry Potter movies boring/annoying? I mean, I enjoyed the books (sort of, all one and one half that I've read), but the movies alternate between barely having plots, Quidditch games that bring back heinous memories of pod racing, and choking on the Chris Columbus-flavored broth that is unbearable cavorting and hijinks disguised as whimsy. Even Emma Thompson and her ex-husband turn in mind-shatteringly embarrassing performances in these things.

Well, except Prisoner of Azkaban, which was trying again and again to charm me with the idea of magic, but instead reveled in lengthy explanations (seriously, all the dialog could easily be "this is plot, so is this, presented tepidly, sorry, making millions") and 45 minutes of children running through the woods. Ron won't stop trying to mug so hard that his face actually splits in two. Or saying "brilliant." Everything's brilliant.

I'm 3 films in. Is the next one the one with all the wizards killing each other off? That sounds worth it.

I think I may have found a DVD I want. Very, very much.

I mean, look at the interview roster. Most of these guys and gals have a body of work comprised mostly of anime roles, I grant, but I know a great deal of these people and their voices.

I admit to being at least curious. The closest I get to actual voice actor interviews are the extras on the Futurama DVDs, and those are excessively brief, and with some of the oldest hands currently still in the game. Oh, and the Comic-Con panel from Comic Book: the Movie, which featured all the greats (and Jess Harnell eating up most of the DVD's runtime with his long, lame-ass story about a kid at an amusement park not believing he was the voice of Wakko, like anyone gives a toss).

I think I should get my hands on this film, even if it's a tich pricey.

Speaking of voices, would you ever have guessed that this man:



Would be the voice of this blob?:



I find that in the case of younger voice actors, it's often the ones that look like they couldn't sound like they do...that end up having the most outlandish voices.
I like that.

Kevin Federline isn't dead yet. Film at 12.

What's THE stupidest thing you've ever seen?

Was it funny, baffling? Just annoying?

Good stupid or bad stupid?

Today at work was just dreadful. Particulars are being withheld for the reason of not wanting to summon the great Satan with all of my wrath, which would be stirred vociferously should I divulge any detail.

Then I got home, and my keys weren't in my pocket. I'd left them at work. In the restroom. So I rapped on my neighbor's door, apologizing profusely while panicking at the idea of my manager leaving, sleeping on the landing, going back to work in the same clothes, and any number of other unreasonables. But she wasn't sleeping, just cautious at the shaky manbeast knocking. She let me use her phone to call my manager, who was just leaving. He found my keys and brought them to me, and a crisis was indeed averted.

I feel better. Thank goodness there are people to watch out for me. Still, it was a genuinely panicky moment, one I'm glad is behind me.

So, to the business at hand:



At first glance, it reminds me of what the Brits call a ploughman's Lunch, replete with hunk of cheese. However, this arrangement has triggered a very special memory in me.

I used to have two episodes of Hello Kitty on VHS. One was called "Mom Loves Me After All," and it was about a baby that Kitty and Amy's mom was taking care of for a friend. The girls suspect that it will cause Mom to ignore the details in their lives; things like reading them bedtime stories and the like. Their suspicions seem confirmed when they take their lunches to school, and everyone's expecting something wonderful and delicious (Mom's cookies are renowned all over town) to be in their boxes. Kitty and Amy open their boxes to discover a loaf of bread, hunk of cheese and glass bottle of soda, each, and are mortified. Had Mom been neglectful, spending time with the new baby?
It only gets sadder and sweeter from there, and I almost tear up during the scene where Kitty decides to run off and live with her grandparents.
The whole thing's up on Youtube, natch.

But that's what my snack for tonight makes me think of. The soda bottles are even shaped the same.

Tonight it's just me, my Curiosity Cola, my Jarlsberg, my Branston, and a Rifftrax for Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I hope you all have great nights, as well.

Oh, and:



My new favorite YTP. Watch closely as Ganon becomes Lady Gaga, and then the sun and the moon. I love it. And you.

Good night!

The Robinson Giant Eagle has been subsumed into the Market District, which James took me to last night. There, I found:



Curiosity Cola. A botanically brewed cola. Curious? I was. Their marketing campaign is successful, at least as it pertains to me.
The company also made a soda called Orange Jigger, which piqued my curiosity just as much. And they make a shandy, too!

Also, I bought a hunk of Jarlsberg. I bought it from a huge corner of the store that excelled in cheese, from a gorgeous girl who knew a lot about about cheese. A pretty cheesemonger. I think developed a crush on her after she recommended Muenster and/or Jarlsberg for...



...the jar of BRANSTON PICKLE I located!

Zack would love it there. It's a giant cheese world.

I love it there because it had a really pretty girl who recommended me a cheese for my Branston. And Curiosity Cola. And about 500 other things I've like to look at again, when I have time.

Thanks, Hamesio.

I've decided, thanks to a number of positive votes in my poll, to make a Robotnik LJ mood theme. Because I love him. And you.

In the meantime, the most astonishing ad I think I've ever seen.

Top 5 voices.

How long's it been?

EDIT: This entry was meant for top_fives. Bit of a snafu. However, as someone has already commented on it, I'm going to leave it alone, here, as others who are not members of the community may also want to play.

Have fun!

Happy birthday, Russ. Spend it well. Do good and do fun.

Poll #1486581
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11

Dr. Robotnik Mood Icons

Two words, today:

Fan Fiction.

Useless as it seems? More than just an opportunity for people to make the characters from the shows they claim to love have sex with one another? Or fandoms to poorly scrabble for what should have happened? Mayhaps inserting oneself (or an avatar of oneself) into your favorite stories?

Do discuss.

Even though (or because) it's my only day off this week, I need to spend some time outside. Though my feet feel less like feet and more like birthing grottoes for new and better varieties of pain. Though there's work to done around the house. Though there are piles of laundry.

The sun is up.

And I need dip.

It was bound to happen sooner or later...



Actually, I'm not sure if that's even true or not. But say hello, regardless, to "Youtube Kacke."

Yep. German Youtube Poop.

I'm real sorry. I'll get to actual content eventually.

Just fucking around with video-capturing software. Okay, actually I'm just seeing if the "snapshot" thing works on VLC.

Turns out...it does!










This one was very worth it.

Since he spends almost all of the show shouting, scowling or grinning evilly, I wanted to capture the happier side of him. Robotnik needs to feel happy now and again.

Let's play a game. Based on something I said in the big 3,000 post. I said that I am hard-pressed to think of films where there wasn't at least one thing I thought was cool, or funny, or likable, in one form or another. Aside from the Transformers films and Blankman, which I drew an actual blank on.

So.

Name a movie. A movie you're fairly certain I've seen. If I haven't seen it, you go again.

If you name something I like, well, great. I'll let you know that I liked it or loved it. And you can keep guessing, if you feel like it.

If you name something you didn't think I liked, I'll give you something I liked about it. Like with Congo. The movie was drivel, poop, snot. But I liked Bruce Campbell, and I liked Ernie Hudson's character, and I liked the laser that cut evil super-apes in half.

The two Transformers films and Blankman are already disqualified, but you are encouraged to come up with as many as you'd like. The idea of the game is to come up with a movie within which I could find no redeeming qualities. I'm proving to myself I haven't sunk into the technicolor wasteland of my own head yet, where everything is fixed and immutable based on the idea that once I've made my mind up about something, it takes too much effort on the parts of both others and myself to change it. Which, again, my overall problem with absolutes.

'Kay? Hit me.

If I want spreadable Branston shipped to my house, it'll cost me.

How much?

Well, the actual squeezy bottle ranges anywhere from 2.41 pounds Sterling (about $3.71) to $4.15 in straight US dollars. The small chunk jars run for about the same, and weigh more.

That's not so bad.

However, shipping from British Corner Shop is 20.99 PS ($34.34!!)
Shipping from British Supermarket Worldwide is 20.05 PS ($32.80!!)
The Curiosity Shop won't calculate my shipping until after I've signed up with them and "proceeded to checkout."
The South Africa Food Shop sells it at $6.99 a jar, plus $7.99 S&H.

And Amazon ships it. $5.99 for the jar, $3.95 S&H. So, ten bucks.

I think I may have to go with Amazon. It's not small chunk (which I was itching hard to try), but Branston Original is better than Branston Nonexistent.



Illustrated thusly and sadly.

You will be mine again, Branston Pickle. Your little brother might've gotten away, but you are still within my sights. You're like...Soliel Moon Frye in Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings...you don't exactly seem necessary, but you're the biggest marquee name in my fridge.
And I want you back.

The ending to Pierrot Le Fou is still one of the saddest, most unnerving endings to an anime episode I've yet seen.

And somewhat fitting viewing for today, seeing how it's El Día de los Muertos.

Maybe. I dunno. I have to do a lot of cleaning today.

Not to mention ordering spreadable Branston online. It seems odd, having relish in a squeeze bottle shipped to my house. But LORDY, is it worth it.

Actual update (of sorts) to follow.

Happy Halloween, You Little Jerks!



Nobody's gonna watch this whole thing. That's okay.

And just like that, Giant Eagle had no more Branston Pickle. James says they didn't get a new shipment in.

I assumed the worst, and considered that they stopped carrying it.

If I have to, I'll start buying it online in a squeezie bottle. It's even chunked smaller, for better spreadability!

On the plus side of things, there's suddenly no meeting on Saturday. I have no idea why. There just isn't, now.

I'm happier.

We have a mandatory all-staff meeting at 9 AM on Halloween. We're meeting the new owners!

Why would they get me up at that hour? When I always close?

I should probably shave.

OR SHOW UP IN COSTUME.

Manna from heaven. A wary purchase that ended up being a love story.

And yes, the only thing currently in my fridge.

I miss you a lot, too, Captain.

What song(s) would you insist be played at your wedding, hypothetical or otherwise?

"Win" is not a quantifiable substance. It cannot be measured in metric, nor can it be chewed on, painted over or mixed into waffle batter. Winning is something you DO, not something to be doled out, not a substance from which fine products may be distilled. It cannot coat the walls of your submarine. It will not protect you from radiation. It is not even a non-substance, the indefinable ether from which the classical wizard claimed to draw his incantations, when not speaking directly to Satan. It is not a compound, nor a precious ore, not a gemstone, not measurable by anything, anywhere. Nothing has ever been made of it.
No, I am not "for the win." I am very much against it.

The internet does have some selling points, though.

For example:


This is the cover to Burial's Untrue. Without the Internet, I could not be putting up this album for Toadsly, though anyone else that wants it can obviously have it.
It's REALLY fucking good, though. I mean, I don't know a lot about dubstep. In fact, I didn't even know there was such a genre until about a week ago. Electronic subgenres are not something I'm familiar with, on the whole.
But I know what I like. And I like this.
And here is the link to the actual album. It's a big fella, but if you downloaded my mix, then this guy shouldn't be much of a problem.


See? The Internet may be diametrically opposed to quality control, by design, but it can still squeak through, if you know where to look.



Other times...well, I'll let you figure that stuff out on your own.

I am awake. I am hyper. I am irritated. I am almost angry. I'm feeling "emo." Meaning I want to throw things and punch people and be a whiny rock star and delete my journal and do shots of scotch and march around sullen and poopy. Ass around the house in a dressing gown, eating M&Ms and shouting the names of composers out the window.

Maybe I'll become a rapper. Then I can shoot other rappers I think suck, and then write songs about it.

Or I could write a shitty movie about crotch rockets.

My brain is oats. Just add water.

I don't really know any of you, do I?

Is there anything you've convinced yourself you'll never watch?

And I will very obviously be working that day, I'm thinking of slapping together a haphazard costume that will keep me dry while I work. And give myself a somewhat convincing illusion that I'm a semi-loony soldier on the run from whatever administration I used to work for.

So, I'm thinking Russian gas mask, and a military-grade coveralls.

I dunno. I haven't dressed for Halloween in years and years. Simple, effective, and Halloween-approved. I want to dress up for work. I want to stare at customers from under a muffled gas filter. Even one that conceivably doesn't work.

What do you think? Maybe add a tie? Buy a bonesaw? Decorate it some fun and happening fashion?

Anything previously considered good by anyone is actually merely boring, there really is nothing that can ever be considered a classic, and pointless schlock is all that deserves our time!

I mean, you can make some of the world's worst shit...but if it's HONEST shit, well, that's to be applauded! There are layers and layers of subtexts to be forced into really stupid things that never had any, nor intended to! You can make high-volume crap literally come out of a fire hose, and the people with their mouths open in front of the spray will have to find SOME justification for why they were just standing there!

"Well, it tasted like chocolate ice cream," says one patron.

"Yeah," says another. "There were lots of flavors in it, actually."

No, you say. You were clearly just eating shit.

"But there's so much nuance in it! The aftertaste is wonderful! And all the difficult bits were digested for us!" they exclaim, en masse.

"And I'd eat it again!" go a few truly dumb ones standing in the back.

It's really quite brilliant, when you think about it. Well, actually...it's brilliant if all you ever do is think about it, or you don't at all. Otherwise, it doesn't work.

In 1999, Cartoon Network UK tried something odd. They thought, "Hey, why don't we just splice together all the Hanna-Barbara shit we have in the vaults, along with clips from our current lineup, and whatever else we have lying around, and make a TV show out of the result?"
My interest list points toward "humor through editing." This is generally what I'm talking about.

The show's name was AKA Cult Toons. It ran for about one season. It wasn't very popular, but like its title perhaps preemptively suggested, it's become something of a cult favorite among would-be editors and editing buffs.



If you're one of the many poop haters...well, now you have someone to blame. :)

...Do the Mario.

It's funny to me to see fellas from movies do guest spots on House. I don't know why. It just makes me happy to say to myself, "Blah hah, the Mayor of Gotham thinks he has carpal tunnel!" or "Peter Gibbons took some time away from his construction job to cure tuberculosis in Africa!"

I know these guys from one particular role, generally. Might have seen them in two or more things, but I know them generally from a very specific memory or set of them. For example; one episode featured an elderly clinic patient whose brain was being eaten away by an STD. She was played by Shirley Knight, who (besides sharing an exact name with my deceased aunt) I know best---and indeed, probably only---as Helen Hunt's mom from As Good As It Gets. Her son was played by the guy who managed Tia Carrere's band in Wayne's World. You know who I mean. Not Rob Lowe. The other guy. Always gets the role as the wormy conniving guy in the films he's in.

My brain loves to do those backflips. It did it when I watched Perry Mason; I'd seen a number of people on that bench in a number of older films; no less than THREE cast members of The Screaming Skull have testified in front of Raymond Burr in three separate episodes, and I immediately knew them as such. It's odd, how that works.

But on House! It's like all my old incidental rememberences have come out to play! There's the dad from That 70s Show...and his son is Dave Matthews the Retard! Oh, no! Inspector Maculay Culkin's dad from The Good Son has taken away all of House's vicodin! Casey Jones just shot House, and now he lives in his head!

It's odd; even when I started watching House, and saw leading lady Lisa Edelstein, super Jew-fox that she is, I immediately said to myself, "Jack Nicholson made fun of your nose in (again) As Good As It Gets. Not only that, but I saw you cut off your hair and stuff it into pillows whilst howling at the moon on Frasier."

Perhaps most satisfactory to me are the episodes involving pompous rich fatass Edward Vogler. He's a billionaire, donated $100 million to Princeton Plainsboro. Tries to control House and everyone in the hospital by virtue of having lots of money. And every time I see him attempt an air of authority, I snigger and say to myself, "Oh, wow. To think, you were a friendly, philosophical dishwasher not too long ago. You had MY JOB, you fat LOAD! Money changes a man!"

I been so out of the loop since 6 or so episodes into season 4. I saw a TV spot at work with James Earl Jones in it, and went, "Wow." Not necessarily an impressed wow, just a "Who hasn't been on that show by now?" wow.

Of course, last I looked, Hugh Laurie was also getting paid more per episode of House than the President makes yearly. That's not meant to sound impressive...just two things I read that happened to correlate.

So, uhm, yeah. House. What's new with you guys?

Must've been a phase.

I want to scrawl buckets of schmaltzy poetry.

Today is the day on which Christopher Columbus discovered Canada, and today they all give thanks!

I've had a post in my head for about 2 hours now. Each and every time I try getting it out, I look at the first paragraph or so and think, "God, what cranky old loon wrote that?"

So I'll just say that I think certain musicians are trying too hard to convince us that they're "crazy," and I resent them for it.

Specifics? Any band that's trying to follow in Mike Patton's overtread footsteps (Dog Fashion Disco, Tub Ring), Devendra Banhart and John Frusciante. Bunch of flatheaded nitwits.

Is a GO!

YAR HAR HAR HAHHAAHA DON'T CALL ME, I'M NOWHERE NEAR YOU, DAMONS!!

Instead of, you know, patching up the road (I assume that's because of the weekend), they've simply put a sheet of metal over the hole they made and left it at that.
Which means that every time someone drives over it, it sounds like a Jehovah's Witness loudly knocking on my toilet tank in a last-ditch effort to get my attention.

Nevermind that.



What if the moon were sentient? Worse, what if he were suicidal and headed for us?

I rank it someplace within the top 5 scariest things I'd never care to witness.

Tomorrow...with some careful finagling...of my getting Sunday off.

This doesn't sound like much. I've worked every Steelers game we've played since we made the playoffs last year. I'd like to call my Mom during one. Actually sleep in on a Sunday, even.

And after tackling homecoming weekend last week solo...I think I could use it.

C'mon, Debbie. You'll lose nothing. Other employees might be a bit annoyed, but they'll get over it.

C'mon. I'll even buy you those Sarris chocolate-covered pretzels you like so much for National Boss' Day.

Look into your heart. I ask so little. I should get it once in a while, huh?