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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) zarla | |
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Man I've been taking stupid pills today or something. After slamming my hand slowly in a door (this i can kind of blame on just waking up and being tired I guess), I decided to mail out some bread. It went something like this: Me: Wrapped up bread in tupperware. Just need a box. This one's the right size. I'll just seal it up and write the address on it. No problem. Me: Wait a minute this is an international postage box. Me: Frick Me: Well I'll just scribble out "international" with a sharpie, no doubt that'll be fine. AT THE POST OFFICE Postlady: This is not fine. Me: Uh. Postlady: Here's a new box. Copy the address onto this slip and put that box in the new box. Me: Put old box in the new box, then copy the address. Got it. Me: There we go, everything's all nicely sealed in the new box. Me: It sure is difficult to copy the address when it's sealed in a box. Me: Wait Me: Frick Me: Uh Me: I have to drive back home for a second. Postlady: :/ vroom Me: Okay I copied the address from home, here you go Postlady: Ten bucks Me: Okay Me: My card isn't scanning :( Postlady: Just give me that, jesus Postlady: Alright it's done Me: What do I sign? Postlady: IT'S DONE YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIGN ANYTHING Me: let me look around stupidly for something to sign regardless Postlady: JUST GET OUT SO LONG STORY SHORT elendraug THERE IS A LOAF OF BREAD HEADING YOUR WAY I have one more tupperware thingy and like six more loaves so if one of you wants one I could probably send it to you or something. Hopefully I won't be an idiot with that one. I had some weird dreams last night which doesn't really surprise me. It was kind of a mix between 2001 and a slasher film in that people kept randomly getting decapitated (including myself, actually) while trying to talk to some inscrutable alien presence. I blame this in part on the fact I watched the end of Urban Legend Final Cut before watching 2001. By the way, don't watch Urban Legend Final Cut. In other news, I updated the MGS art dump like a day or so ago. I continue to alienate everyone by drawing various characters as animals because it's fun. ( Although here are two comics that escaped the update )Also MGS Peacewalker is apparently going to be MGS5 and a huge deal and whatever and arrrrrrgh I don't have or want a PSP why do you do this to me kojima ffffffffffff Tags: art, metal gear?!
¤:  dumb
♫: 25707. Auto-tune the News - #6: Michael Jackson. drugs. Palin.
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) poor_skills
loonylupinlover | |
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I'm currently renting a studio apartment in southern California, near but not in Los Angeles, while I'm going to school. Rent is $1175 (yes, it's awful. but I don't have to commute, utilities are included, and it's not much more than other apartments in the area), up from $1075 last year. Now I'm checking out the website for my building and it states that for new residents, studios are going for $859. I've tried looking up online if this is acceptable or even legal to do but don't seem to be using the correct search terms. I am not in a rent-controlled area. 1) Is it legal to charge $300 difference in rent to the exact same units? They all have the same floor plan and the only different between the units is what floor they're on. There's no reason given for charging $859. 2) I've already signed my lease for the year, it expires in 2010. I really don't want to move as I like the room and location. If I were to haggle well enough with my landlord, is it possible for her to change the rent even though I'm in this new lease? I think it would be, as I didn't start at the new rent until a month after signing my new lease, but I'm not sure. This is the only apartment I've ever rented so I'm a bit of a n00b when it comes to these things. 3) Tips for discussing it with her and standing my ground without being rude? She's a nice enough person, but I am never sure how to word myself when saying something like "Hey, why the hell are you charging these people $300 less than me when you already know I'm a good tenant? Lower my rent!" (This is not what I actually intend to say, lol.) Current Location: Pomona, CA
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myrch | |
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Ulysses thrust both his elbows behind him, hooked them on the spit trough, and took a good look around the pool.
What a lucky day, he thought. All the lifeguards are girls, and all of them are pretty.
Ulysses was 50 years old, and therefore twice the age -- at least -- of any of the three young woman charged with his safety. Ulysses was also unattractive and pudgy, which made him an unlikely subject for amorous attention. The thought made him feel lonely. Desperate.
Taking a few deep breaths, Ulysses forced himself underwater, so as to create a veil for anyone who might be watching him.
He flailed in slow motion to keep his buoyant body submerged. He counted to 30, and allowed his body to float up, face down, arms and legs loose. His back broke the surface.
Nothing.
Did no one notice? Ulysses thought. He began to wonder how much longer he could hold his breath this way.
But what was that? He heard yelling through the water! A tug on his leg! A splash somewhere near him, and arms grappling with his ample frame, perhaps six of them, pulling and pushing him out of the pool.
He heard almost no sounds now, just the few words of the lifeguards, who were afraid they'd see their first drowning -- and on their watch. Was $8.20 an hour worth this?
Ulysses dared not open his eyes. If he did, his ruse would be ended and so too, probably, his pool membership. He also realized, as his mind began to panic from lack of oxygen, that he could not breathe either, because with the crowd almost certainly gathered around him, that too would be noticed.
"Move aside!"
So he willed himself not to move, not to breathe, not to think.
"He's not breathing."
Ulysses did not hear.
"I can feel a heartbeat."
Ulysses began to fade.
"I said move aside."
Ulysses would have maintained his self-induced sensory deprivation (and eventually lost consciousness) if it hadn't been for a very distinct sensation: an odor foul and jarring. His nose still functioned apparently, even without inhaling.
Is it potato chips? Ulysses thought. Sour cream and onion potato chips, eaten hours ago, the remnants of which are now fodder for bacteria to turn into waste? Ulysses had never smelled breath so rank.
"Sarah, do you know how to do it?"
"Yeah. I think."
He felt something hard on his chest, perhaps a hand braced and firm. And then it punched him. Hard. Twice. Ulysses came close to yelping, or exhaling in response to the insults, but managed to suppress both. Since when were girls this strong? Girls weren't this strong when he was their age. Yet Ulysses managed to remain a body seemingly on the verge of death.
And now, his reward. The climax. Lips.
They were on him. Finally. The consummation of his fantasy.
He felt the lips cupped around his own, not kissing as he'd expected. The lips were hard, somehow. Emotionless. Clinical.
Could lips ever be non-sexual? Ulysses never knew that could be so.
The force of the incoming breath was too much for Ulysses to withstand. His tongue, which had been blocking his throat, gave way to the pressure, and he felt incredible, sharp pain in his chest, and then a warmth.
Unable to control himself any longer, Ulysses began to cough, and as he did so he knew he did not need to pretend anymore. So he gasped for breath. And coughed again. And wheezed. And coughed some more.
"Oh my god. Thank god."
But what was that? Red spots on the tiles.
Ulysses opened his eyes at last, and saw the crowd of swimmers nearby, and the three lifeguards attending to him. Their concern and relief were apparent and comforting.
But Ulysses felt horrible -- light-headed and unable to control his coughing. And with each cough, the blood just seemed to come faster and in larger quantities. When he turned his head the blood just dribbled out like a little waterfall.
Ulysses was aware of a stabbing pain his chest now, and the coughing and the blood were making it hard for him to breathe.
Dimmed by a growing stupor, Ulysses looked up. The people around him seemed disconnected from him now, distant, hiding behind a veil. A grey veil, yes. Their faces were hard to see.
And as the veil turned to black, forever, Ulysses wondered whether any of the girls would kiss him again.
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celandine | |
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Lunchtime updates... This is going to be a disheveled piece of muck, so bear with me. Randomness, ahoy!
Randomness #1:
I got the new job. I was going to be all cautious and whatever, but someone called and told all my co-workers so eh. I don't think they've found this journal yet anyways. It's not officially official yet because I still have to get my clearance and stuff has to go through HR and I can't resign until they give me an actual start date, but it was offered and I accepted. Hopefully all the rest goes through.
Randomness #2:
ALA in Chicago wore me the hell out. I am so looking forward to the weekend. Lots of good stuff to be seen there though, lots of things learned, and I hailed a taxi cab all on my own for the very first time. Oh yeah, I'm unstoppable now. :)
Randomness #3:
Saw Harry Potter yesterday. It was awesome, as well it should be... and surprisingly it stuck to the book pretty well. There was a preview for New Moon after which I leaned over to my mother and whispered, "that was the entire plot, you've been spared seeing the movie." Sorry Twilight fans, but "OMG I DIE WITHOUT EDWARD" Bella is soooooo obnoxious. May see HP again this weekend, since most people couldn't go opening day. BTW, when did movies get so freaking expensive?
Randomness #4:
For reasons I shall not go into, I have decided that I am going to try to be better about money and exercise and not procrastinating for a while. Actually, I think it will be hell on earth, but I need to get some things sorted out and those are the things I have some control over. Just a heads up because I will probably come here to whine about stuff. Meh.
Think that's about it. I did my yoga this morning and I'm going to do my Wii Active when I get home tonight. Thinking about getting my hair cut too - it's driving me crazy. Also need to water the flowers and finish cleaning up the kitchen. It's amazing how much of a mess two cats can make all by themselves. At least this weekend is supposed to be frais, so I can open all the windows and get some fresh air circulating, and I may be able to get the car cleaned out too. Why is there always so much to do?
Ok back to tying up loose ends on projects. Such an exciting life I lead...
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omg
creeped out
